You have to work to get what you want

You have to work to get what you want                                                            051210

                The earth is full of minerals and all of them are useful for improving our standard of living; but these minerals have to be mined before they can be used. The soil is rich and eager to produce some good crop; but it has to be tilled before we can benefit in this way. There are many books in libraries and book stores that contain the information we need to get the next great idea that will take us far; but they have to be read and studied before that information becomes useful. All this points to the fact that we need to work before we get the results that we want. There is no shortcut to this end.

                Iron is one of the most useful metals on earth because it is found in relatively large quantities in the earth. There are other metals, though, which are found in larger quantities but cannot be used to the extent of iron because they are difficult to extract. Aluminium is one such metal. Even though it is difficult to extract, when needed, the only way to get it is to extract it from the ground.

                Useful as iron is, it has to be mined from underground. The ore from which it is mined contains many impurities that have to be removed before iron becomes useful. All this processing requires money and time. As a result large processing plants are built specifically to make iron available in a form that is usable. Without this work, all the iron and steel structures we see and use would not be available to us.

                There are other minerals that do not need much processing for them to be extracted. These are said to be found ‘native’ in the ground. Minerals like Gold and copper sometimes can fetch lots of money if sold in their unprocessed state. Gold panners who are causing siltation in our rivers are testimony to this fact. They get the gold and sell it to middlemen who go on to sell it on the legal market for a profit. Even though these panners get a lot of money from the gold they sell, they have to dig it up and remove the soil. There are very few places and instances where a big nugget can be picked without working for it.

                Minerals like diamonds can bring in a lot of money even though they are uncut. But those who sell them still have to mine them first. There is more money, though, for those who have the means of processing these minerals. This value addition is what makes the difference in income between the initial miners and those who sell after processing.

                The same can be said about the farming industry. The soil can make anything sown on it to produce more than the planted seeds. The seeds have to be sown, though, before the profit can be realised. Seeds germinate when the conditions are right but not every germinated seed will produce the maximum possible yield. The seed does well if planted on fertile soil that has been tilled. Tilling the land is necessary for production to go up. If you will get anything from the soil you have to work it and feed it. All this requires energy and time. If you do nothing to, and for the soil, you will not get anything meaningful out of it.

                There are many things in life that we want. Many of these are actually needs. There is only one way of making sure they become part of our lives, and that is to work to get them. There is nothing that happens on its own. All things are hidden somewhere in some ‘soil’ so that those who need them badly will dig them up. Those who are lazy will not be able to benefit from these hidden things because they are not prepared to work for them.

                If you want a degree you have to study for it. If you do not study hard enough you will not get it in the end. There is no shortcut. If you want money you have to work consistently for it. Those who use shortcut methods to get it always find that it goes before they can enjoy it, if ever they can enjoy it. Whatever you want, you have to work to have it.

                In most mines there are major minerals that they extract from the ground but more often than not there are other useful metals that are found in the same ore. These are sometimes processed depending on their abundance in the ore. While you do one thing, it is often true that you benefit in more ways than one. There are many other benefits you derive from one useful project. These may be just little but you benefit all the same. These benefits come only to the ones who own the mines. ‘Dig’ somewhere and see how many benefits you will enjoy. All you have to do is work.

                Remember the earth is full of minerals. It is those who are diligent enough to keep digging who strike the belt of the precious minerals. And those who dig deeper have a greater chance of getting minerals where there is no competition, for many are content digging on the surface. All you will ever want is available to you if only you are prepared to work fir it.

Do not take people’s comments personally

Do not take people’s comments personally                                                        040710

            Have you ever realised that when you have an aching spot in your body, everyone who comes in contact with you seems to touch that place. No matter how much effort you put in trying to keep the sore away, people have a way of finding it and causing you pain. You probably know that these people would not hurt you deliberately, but somehow these painful paces seem to be always accessible despite all your efforts to keep them out of reach.

            What is important to realise is that people are in contact with these spots all the time they are in contact with you, but when these areas are not injured you do not feel the people’s touch as pain causing. What makes you sensitive when you get injured is that the pain is instant so you respond to it. There are many times when someone seems to always touch you on the sore spot no matter how much you both try to avoid it. It may be because this loved one may be used to touching you in a specific way and it has become habitual, and now that the place this individual is used to touch has become injured, it becomes easy to unconsciously touch the same spot. You may interpret this as carelessness on their part but it may just be a way of showing they care, in the same way they have done so in the past and you never seemed to care. They may actually be wondering why you are being sensitive all of a sudden.

            There are many comments that people say about you in public that they say to everyone without causing offense. It may be that you say certain things that offend others without realizing it. You may be saying these things as a joke because when someone says the same to you, you take it lightly. The same words that make everyone laugh and enjoy themselves can be painful to someone sensitive. Sensitivity is not because the spot that is hurting wants to hurt in this way. It may be accidentally injured, and as long as the injury has not healed, it will continue to be painful when touched.

            In general, when an injury occurs on the leg, every other part of the body can be touch without feeling uncomfortable. This means that an injured person becomes sensitive only when the injured part is touched. There are others who get involved in traffic accidents. Such people have more sore spots as a result. In such cases it may be wise to be very careful in that if you touch any place there are chances of causing pain.

            Emotional pain is as painful as physical pain although it is not quite tangible. Most people are hurting in some way and once in a while someone says something that touches this sore spot. Because such hurting people may not tell the offenders that they are hurting in this way, these people may continue to touch this same spot without realizing that they are causing pain, to the discomfort of those hurting. Words touch these sore spots as hands do in the physical. Most people end up hating the people who hurt them in this way not realising that they may not be aware of the pain they are causing. This happens when they take people’s comments personally.

            If you look deep down in your heart, you will find some spots that are sore. The pain they cause may be mild oar severe, depending on when the pain was caused and the healing process you are going through. There are times when someone says something that reminds you of this pain and as a result you feel the pain once again. Some of these people do not realise that they are causing you pain so they keep saying the painful words in your presence. There are times when others know about the pain you are going through and they try to help you by giving some medicine for your wounds. The problem may be that these self-proclaimed ‘doctors’ may not have experience in healing the type of ailment you will be having so in trying to help they cause more pain instead. Such need to be forgiven because their intention is to help you and not to hurt you.

            In general, if the wound is going to heal, it has to be exposed to medicine, and medicine causes pain. If you realise this, you will realise that some amount of pain is necessary for healing to take place. This may come through someone talking the issue over with you. If you do not expose the pain to the truth, it may last a lifetime. There are many who got amputated in the end because they feared the pain caused by ‘Betadine”. If they had endured the small pain at first, their limps would not have grown septic, something that necessitated the amputation. The same may happen if you keep emotional pain on the inside. It has a way of eating you up on the inside.

            If you will avoid emotional pain caused by those who speak carelessly, do not take anything they say personally. Of course, if your weight bothers you, you will be touched when someone tells you that you have grown too big. But it may be true and since you are doing something about it, you should take it as encouragement to do something about the painful spot. As long as you do not take these comments personally, you will heal faster.  

No Test No Promotion

No Test No Promotion                                                                                    040710

                Everyone in life looks forward to being promoted from one level to the next. Many people are frustrated when this does not happen when they want it to happen or as often as they think it should. But promotion does not happen at random. Every time someone gets promoted there has to be a test of some sort that has to be passed. Most people do not want this part of the promotion process because they are afraid of failure.

                Those who have been promoted ahead of you are not perfect. This is the reason why you frown when you hear they have been promoted. What distinguishes them from you may be that they choose to face challenges more often. It is true that if you look at their history, they may have made more blunders than you have. But have you tried to check how many successes they have scored compared to you? Those who accomplish great things in life usually make more mistakes than the rest. It is in making mistakes that they gain knowledge about how to be successful. It is better, in reality, to promote someone who will make mistakes but score some successes than someone who makes no mistakes and at the same time producing no results because he/she is afraid of making mistakes.

                Everyday we grow from stage to stage. A child when born cannot walk or run. As time goes on it starts to sit unsupported. After a couple of bruises from falling the child learns to stand on its own.  After some more falls he learns to walk. The child who does not want to fall will not learn how to walk. It is in making mistakes that the child learns the art of walking. When you look at yourself today you do not think about it when you want to walk. There was once a time, however, when you could not walk, let alone stand. Throughout life you had to progress from stage to stage and you did. The problem with adults is that there is a fear that they have that makes it difficult for them to progress in life.

                The academic world is another area where we see promotion coming after being tested. Those who go to secondary school have to sit for the grade seven test. How you do is no longer an issue since some people who have done badly in the test find themselves at high school. This is because education is a fundamental right which every child is entitled to. All the same, if you want to go to the best schools in the land you must produce some good marks otherwise there is no place for you. From O’ Level to A’ Level requires that you accomplish some good results at the former level. The same is true from A’ Level to university. There is no shortcut to promotion.

                In your life today; if you look closely you will find that there are a number of places that you want to be that you have not yet reached. Some of them are within reach if you choose to work at getting there. Others seem out of reach to you. In all these situations you will find that the only way to get the promotion to the next level is to face some opposition and overcome. If there is no test, there is not going to be progress. Tests, by nature, are not a pleasant experience. If, however, we do not face them, there is no way of knowing how much we are learning in life. Every genuine student dreads the examination but those who do well appreciate that their efforts would not be appreciated without a test.

                If you are going to be successful in life you have to choose to face the tests that come your way. There is always a way of avoiding these tests but the person who will be frustrated in the end is you. Those who have repeated a grade know how frustrating to sit in class with those you considered juniors just a year ago. For those who would have been nasty to these juniors it is even worse because they are constantly reminded of that fact. The frustration is made worse if the individual would have repeated because of missing an exam.

                Do not be afraid of tests, they give you a chance to prove who you are and get promotion. Look at the testing stage as a stepping stone towards greater heights. The tests you pass in your academic life give you progress in that dimension. Those you pass in your social life do the same in that direction. If you want to progress spiritually you have to pass spiritual tests. Remember there is no shortcut to promotion.

The end of a matter is more important than its beginning

The end of a matter is more important than its beginning                                      110710

            There are many grant openings that we see in the world today but there are very few of the started things that end as planned. If you look at this scenario you will realise that the people who start such great ventures forget that everyone can start something, but there is work that needs to be done before the end is reached. It is this discipline in pursuing the project that is generally lacking in most of us.

            If all the books that people started writing were finished, the world would be a better place because these books would have given us information that would change our lives. But these books were left unfinished at some point and some of them will never be finished. This is the reason why some great thinker declared the graveyard as the richest place on earth. All the things left undone by those who went to their graves make it a land full of great wealth.

            The new business venture that you promised people would come soon is still pending, years later. Everyone smiled when they read your project proposal. What happened to it? The studies you started a decade ago are still unfinished. Are you planning to leave everything at that level?

            There are thousands of athletes who start the Comrades Marathon every year. It is a noble idea to run this race because of the way it is reputed in the world. It is not everyone who starts, however, who gets to the end. Only those who get to the end get a prize. There are some who are in front for the first ten kilometers of the race who do not get to the end. It is not how fast you are in parts of the race that makes you a champion. It is reaching the end that is important. Some start slowly in this big race but in the end they finish and get their medals for reaching the finish line. In a race, the reward is given for reaching the finish line, and not in the way you run.

            The end of a matter is more important than its beginning. This is because everyone can start. It is very easy to start with everyone else. There are many who started grade one who never reached grade five. Others started form one and never finished three years in secondary school. Others went to university and left without their degrees. Many start in all cases but few get to the end. There are many, actually who start the degree program strongly with distinctions who fail in the end. Others begin by repeating their first year and keep at it until they graduate, seven years later, for the five year program. That does not matter, as long as in the end the desired destination is reached.

            What makes people to fail to reach the end is that they do not take time at the beginning of the venture to see if they have the resources to get to the end. A hundred metre race is hundred metres long and before you begin it you must be sure that you have the energy to reach the end. The marathon, on the other hand, is forty-two kilometers long. If you begin, make sure you have the energy to go all the way. Once you begin we expect that you finish. It does not matter that you are not prepared for it. If you begin you owe it to the spectators and to yourself to finish the race.

            The way to make sure you finish things that you begin is to count the cost. No race is easy to accomplish. There is a price to pay before you get the prize. Sit down and find out if you have all the resources that are needed for you to reach the end. If you have trained for only a hundred metre race do not enter the marathon race. If you do not have the resources to finish you may as well start something that you are prepared for. The sad thing is that after pulling of at the forty kilometer mark, there is not enough energy left in you for some time to run another race. If you had not started that particular race because of being unprepared, you would still be ready to compete in a half marathon or other shorter races.

            Once you realise that you cannot finish something, it is important to be realistic and save yourself and others the frustration that results when you fail to get to the end. It takes less energy to say no to a project that you cannot finish than to start and fail to reach the end. In fact it is less disappointing.

            Realise that in the end it is not how many projects you began that matters but how many you finished. It is not how you started that is important but how you finished. It is the end of a matter that is important, not just its beginning.

           

           

Keep Shining; Your Time Will Come,

Keep Shining; Your Time Will Come,                                                                        130708

               There is a time for everything. There are times when you will feel that you are being overlooked despite the excellent efforts you put in whatever you do. When such times come, it is important to realise that there is a time for everything and everyone. A time will come when you will also become the centre of attraction. Everyone will notice and wish they were in the same position. The problem is that if it is not yet their time, no matter how much they wish they could shine they just won’t; simply because it will be your time and no one else’.

               The street light may be bright, but if it is switched on during the day it will be neither visible nor appreciated. The point is not that the source of light is not bright enough; it is only that there is a brighter light at that moment. When night comes the street light becomes the brightest source available. If it does not give its light at this crucial time, the people will notice its absence. At that time it ceases to be negotiable as far as the need for this source of light. When the time is right, the proper source of light is appreciated when functioning properly; it is equally missed if it is not available.

               The moon’s light is welcome when one is moving in the night in a place where there is no artificial lighting. If however there is a car’s headlamp or a bulb, this light becomes insignificant. The point is not that the light source is not doing its best or is not necessary but only that in the prevailing conditions those who need the light have an alternative source. The moon does not loose hope, neither does it stop providing the light but it provides light regardless of whether people are grateful for its light or not.

               The stars have never stopped giving out their light. During the day they are so overshadowed by the sun’s light that they do not seem to exist. They are seen in their greatest brilliance when the night is darkest. In like manner, those people we refer to as stars do not only do something that is beyond our ability or reach, like stars are far above; they do it when the odds are against them. The sports stars are those who rise to the occasion and perform to the satisfaction of all and sundry when things are beyond everyone else’ ability to solve the problem. Stars are not needed unless things are so dark that no other source will provide light. All the same the stars will continue to give their best light whether we see them or not; whether we appreciate or not.

               As an individual there are times when your efforts will seem unappreciated. This is not necessarily because your services are not essential. At the right time you will be the only source of light available. At that point people will notice how important you are. If you happen to be unavailable at that time you will be missed greatly. What is important is that you keep shining even in times when no one seems to notice your presence. Like the stars keep shining at all times and you will be found shining when your time comes.

               There are times when you are considered as the sun when it comes to providing light: being so strong a source that every other source seems useless in comparison. It is important at this point not to deceive yourself by thinking that you are indispensable, something that may lead to pride and looking down upon others. What you need to know if you find yourself in this enviable position is that no matter how long a day may last, depending on the season, there is always a sunset that follows. When the sun sets, the same people who salute your glory will start looking for alternative sources of light. This does not necessarily mean that you will not have another go at providing the much needed light. After all, dusk is always followed by dawn after a couple of hours. For this reason no matter how important you feel in one area of life or another, realise that there are others equally important although not necessarily equally prominent.

               When it comes to light provision there are times when you can be the source of light. There are times when, like the moon, you give out only as much light as you receive from other sources. What is important in all cases is to realise that what is significant is to provide light to those who need it. It is not for the moon to glory in the fact that it can provide light. If there were no appreciative people on the receiving end then no matter how much you give, it will be considered useless. Only those who appreciate this fact will find fulfillment in whatever they do. Do it for others and it will be valuable.

               If you rely on reflecting from other light sources then you have to work at polishing your surface because the shiniest surfaces reflect the most light. If it is intellectual light then study hard to acquire as much knowledge as possible to be able to be effective as a source or reflector of light. The more polished your brain is the better.

               Whether people seem to appreciate you or not, as an individual is not as important as the fact that you are doing something to better their lives. Do what you do to the best of your ability with joy, knowing that a time will come when your services will become the only available. This may take a lot of time to come but be assured that when the time comes you will also bask in glory. Only those who keep shining regardless of other competing light sources will become the essential source in their time. Those who give up as soon as there is competition will not amount to much so keep shining.

Dress modestly

The need to be careful                                                                           130708

            I did not want to discuss this topic because several other people have covered it before but I feel responsible to say a word or two on the same. The issue is on dressing. Let me limit this to those who are going to church. One Sunday in town I saw a well dressed young lady. The attention she was drawing to herself made me check her out. I realised that the attention was not necessarily on her dressing because people dress like that every day but it was the Bible that she was holding that made people wonder if she was really going to church.

            There was something definitely wrong with the way she was dressed. Everyone would just shake their head and continue with their business. That made me think for a while and I resolved once and for al that I was going to say something about this issue regardless of its controversial nature. I know this has potential to get my inbox full with mail. That part is welcome too and is always part of the job but for a while, hear what I have to say.

            Let us make one thing clear from the beginning; God is not disturbed by your dressing on a Sunday morning in church. You could literally come naked and He would enjoy your worship like He does when you are dressed like a Moslem woman. That does not affect Him in any way. In fact he enjoys your singing when you are in the bath every morning; naked. Remember that in the Garden of Eden when God used to come and fellowship with Adam and Eve they were not dressed in any way. He would look forward to coming and enjoying this time of fellowship. Case closed! God is not affected in any way by the way you are dressed.

If God is not affected, then why do men make a fuss about the way people dress in church to such an extent that some pastors make it the subject of their Sunday’s preaching? There is probably something in the whole dressing issue that people refuse to address squarely. Dressing can be classified as a right by others. You put on something that you want to put on and when you feel like it. I may choose to listen to that argument and go on to respect it to a limited extent, at least when you are going to the movie house.    

Now that you are the one responsible for choosing your wardrobe when you go wherever you want, it is important to realise that there are other areas where you can get away with murder and others where you will be brought to book. Now that we are talking about dressing for church, it is unavoidable to quote from the Bible to hear what the one who owns the place has to say about the issue at hand. Let us start in the book of Proverbs.

“For at the window of my house I have looked out through my lattice, and I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness. And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.”  (Pro 7:6-10) (Italics mine).

The italisised words tell me that there are different dress codes for different professions. It is therefore important to realise that you may use your freedom of expression in dressing to dress like a prostitute sometimes without realizing it. We agree that when a prostitute comes to church on Sunday morning it is not ours to chase her from church because Jesus emphasized that He came for the lost like these. It is a different story, however, when someone who claims to be a Christian dresses like a prostitute to church. The danger is that the one who called you expects a higher standard from you and defaming His Name with your dressing is a serious offence.

The question that comes to mind first is why do you want to be dressed like a harlot when going to church? Those that operate from Parirenyatwa Street in the night dress like that because their bodies are available. It is the same way a vendor displays some tomatoes on the stalls. (No offence intended). Since we take it for granted that the Christian’s body is not available why is it being advertised as such? Unless we are mistaken by assuming that the Christian should not be associated with adultery and fornication.

Now let’s see what effects you have on an average Sunday when you put on something indecent to church and sit in the front pew. You love the Lord so much that during praise and worship you can’t help but raise your hands. That of course raises your belt thin skirt farther up and showing what should not be visible in public. While you are in great fellowship with your Lord every man behind you will not worship God during that service. I hope you do not come from home to go to church planning to hinder some brother from meeting his Maker because they are lusting after your exposed body. If you did not know, that is exactly what you do once you leave the house improperly dressed, not only to church. The danger with the church case is that there is a serious warning to those who causes others to sin.

"Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his(/her) neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. "Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes!”  (Mat 18:5-7) (Emphasis mine)

These verses give a strong warning to those who choose to abuse their freedom to harm others. It is probably only in church where we can be sure this law will apply. All the same it is safe to consider your dressing every time you leave the house.

            Realise that we are not against people being fashionable. Putting on something that is in fashion is encouraged but make sure that it does not cause others to miss the same Lord you are enjoying. If it wasn’t for this issue, no one would mind seeing you in your most brilliant attire, but the Lord of the house sets the rules in the house.

Aim for Higher Targets

Aim for Higher Targets                                                                                130708

            A paw-paw tree is one of the trees that produce fruits at a tender age. After the first fruits are received, every season new flowers are seen and new fruits are enjoyed. What you will notice about these fruits is that they are always bigger and better than the last season. They are also produced at a higher level than the last crop. The tree keeps growing and in the process producing fruit at a higher level, which fruits are bigger and sweeter. There are a lot of things to copy from the paw-paw tree.

            The greatness of a man is not so much in how much he has achieved so far but in what he is aspiring to achieve. No matter how many great things you have accomplished in the past, there are greater heights to be aspired to and reached. The only thing that can limit your reaching of these greater heights is your lack of a great dream. It, therefore, lies within you to be like the paw-paw which is not satisfied with what the last season produced. In the next season be the one who produces fruit that are perceived by all and sundry to be much better than all you have ever produced before.

            In the world of sports it has been proven that no record survives forever. Some which have endured for decades have eventually been broken. In the sprints, for example, there was a time when it was said to be impossible to run the hundred metres in less than ten seconds. Nowadays if you do not run in less than ten seconds there is no hope of a medal in the international competitions. This means that even the man who has the world record should not bask in the glory of the record because the records are being broken several times a year. If the record holder will remain at the top he has to work at breaking his records as long as he wants to remain the champion, otherwise someone else will come from elsewhere and break the record and displace him from the top.

            The achievements that looked like really great in their time are slowly becoming outdated. Imagine the man who made the gramophone. It was a great idea then but today if you have that instrument you have to be content with listening to very old music because no one cuts music on those discs any more. A wise radio manufacture must, therefore, plan on using the latest technology if he/ she will get a market for his/her products.

            In your life there are many great achievements you may have scored so far and we all say congratulations. These achievements should not make you comfortable and relaxed. Doing so is a sure way to fail in life. Ever realised how people expect a new release from the musician even though the last production is still selling well. When the next release comes the fans have a way of comparing it to the previous one. Each work is not measured on its own merits but in comparison with the past. If, for some reason, the next work is worse than the last, the fans will say so in the sales of the new product. For that reason if you are into any kind of business you have to aim to produce better things every time. If this is not done then there are chances you will soon get out of business.

If you do something great be happy for it and let it be encouragement to do better and greater things. People will definitely applaud for some time while the memory lingers but a time will come when they will need something new for them to esteem you in the same way they do the first time they know of something great you are doing. If you are at school, passing all your subjects today does not guarantee passing with the same grades in the next exam. This means that you have to continue working hard in order to maintain the good work. Telling people at the end that you used to score high marks will not help if you fail the final exam. People will have every reason to believe that you were cheating in all the previous tests and exams.

To remain at the top one has to make it a habit to dream greater dreams than the ones that made you great in the first place. There is no substitute for dreaming when it comes to achieving great things. Everything begins in the head before it can materialize into something tangible. Growth should be natural. A tree does not stop receiving nutrients from the ground all year round; something that makes it possible to produce the fruits when the season comes. In the same way the soil supplies and feeds the tree to do well, information that enter your mind feeds the ideas in your mind which makes them either better or worse depending on the nature of this data. If it is rich it will produce greater rewards than you have ever reaped before. It is your responsibility to feed your brain with material that will in the end produce something you will be proud of.

It is not quite important when exactly you produce your first tangible fruits. Every tree does that at some point. What is important is to keep producing once the fruit-bearing begins; producing bigger and better fruits in the following season, remembering that those trees which keep absorbing nutrients from the soil end up producing bigger and better fruits at a higher level every season.

Let’s Strive to be Equal

Let’s Strive to be Equal                                                                                     021108

            ‘Life is not fair.’ This statement is said so many times that there are many people who believe it without questioning what it really means. What they refuse to ask is whether it was meant to be fair in the first place. I will not attempt to answer that question at the moment but what I hear when I try to analyse that statement is that it would have been better if all of us were the same or at least if we had the same opportunities and resources. This is difficult to achieve and I am sure all of us agree about this fact but at least we can strive to be like those who are more advantaged than we are. No one should have the monopoly of riches or any other resources that we wish to have.

I am happy that there are many people who are striving to make things work out in their own situations. There is, however another group of people which feels strongly that we must be equal but what they do to make us equal is not the best. The have the PHD syndrome. The “pull him/her down” thinkers who are like crabs, which do not allow any other to climb out of the bucket, no matter how easy it is to reach freedom. They would rather starve together in the bucket than allow one to be better than the rest by leaving others inside.

We can not all be the same by making the strong among us weak. There are many strong among us who have supported us through hard times. We know beyond doubt in some cases that without these people we might be literally dead today. Despite this, there are others who insist that we all be the same. This they try to accomplish by weakening the strong among us so that we are a bunch of weaklings. This is dangerous in that if a serious problem arises that can only be solved by the strong, then the whole bunch is doomed to the grave because that problem remains unsolved forever. If you are weak and feel strongly that you want to be like the strong, then you can go ahead and learn from them how they became strong and work hard to be like them. This will strengthen you without weakening the others. The community is better for it because there is one more to solve problems if they ever arise. A community with one more strong person is better than one with one less. Strive, therefore, to be like the strong, not by pulling them down but by rising up to be like them.

We can not all be the same by making the rich poorer. The rich among us have many things that we may never have. There are many needy in our midst today that if we had enough rich men among us who would only share a fraction of their riches all would have their needs met. The problem is that those who had undertaken to be rich where killed before they made it. The community felt they were a threat so it was good to make everyone the same. Others who survived the witch’s spells had thieves looting all they had gathered over the years. The reason is that these men and women know how to gather riches quickly so they will be fine. Sure enough in no time they get back most of the assets that they lose to thieves, but that does not stop the thieves. They come back again and again, no wonder these rich men are not able to assist the underprivileged now that more people need the rich man’s donations than in times past.

If all men would but sit under the feet of these well-to-do and learn how to make money as fast as they do, the community would be full of rich men and who would benefit but the community itself. The rich among us do not mind having others equally rich or even better. The problem is that the poor are refusing to rise up to the occasion and learn what it takes to be rich especially before crisis times come. Let everyone be the same as far as riches are concerned; but may it be in that everyone is striving to be like the rich not by tying to pull them down.

We can not all be the same by making the fast among us to be slow. In a marathon race there are those who are known as pace setters. These people are faster than the rest and everyone tries to keep up with them throughout the race. In most races apart from the medal that is given to the first to cross the line there is the issue of time. Every athlete wants to set a new record. Other people’s times are so slow that they are miles off the record. If such people get the gold medal there will be a serious problem. All the same, the slow runners are trying to beat their individual times and should work hard in this regard but they should by no means try to be equal to the fast by reducing the pace setter’s speed. The fast must be allowed to complete the race without the hindrance of the slow.

If you want to be a success in life, stop being jealousy if you see someone succeeding in any area of life. It is wise to go to the person and ask how he/she is managing and work hard to reach their level. It is not easy but it is the only sure way to reach the great heights you have always aspired to achieve. The trick is not in pulling others down but in asking them to pull you up. Anyone out of the pit will be more than happy to pull you out provided you are not trying to pull him/her down where you are. Learn from those above how they made it and do the same and you will be as successful as they are.

Eradicate bad habits by developing good ones

Eradicate bad habits by developing good ones                            200108

Weeds are every serious farmer’s concern and problem. They reduce yields and threaten the livelihoods of multitudes and the business of many agro-based economies. There is need to control the weeds if the cultivated crops are to produce considerable yields.

A weed by definition is a plant that grows where it is not wanted. Weeds vary in shape and size. They are different from the cultivated crops in a number of critical ways. They grow faster than crops in general and will mature in a much shorter time. It takes an average maize plant five months to mature. In this long time we will be able to get seeds for the next generation. A black jack weed will mature in a few weeks. Before long the sticky seeds are ready to produce the next generation of the notorious weed.

In general weeds thrive by feeding on the nutrients meant for the crops. They do that in many different ways. Some broad leafed weeds grow quickly and overshadow the crops. This prevents light from the sun to reach the crops thereby weakening them, making it difficult for the crops to survive the competition. As long as these weeds are thriving the crops will not survive. The broad leaves capture more light and therefore more energy for the weeds. This type of weeds is quick growing so that they grow taller than the crops as fast as possible enabling themselves to cover the crops in the process.

The other type takes time to establish itself in the ground before becoming visible above the ground. The weeds show only enough leaves above the ground to get energy from the sun. These weeds are not very visible and can be easily ignored. They use their system of well established roots to absorb as much nutrients as possible from the ground. Crops are deprived of the nutrients and are weakened in the process. To get rid of this type of weeds there is a lot of digging that needs to be done unlike with the big weeds that can be easily removed by uprooting.

The other difference between weeds and crops is that weeds produce many more seeds as compared to the crops usually grown. This means that for every crop plant in the field you may find over a hundred weeds. This means that these weeds will use up more nutrients than the farmer anticipates with his crops. This is because the weeds, realising that they are endangered in the sense that they are removed by the farmer at the earliest possible time, will have to produce enough seeds to minimise the chance of complete eradication.

If one wants to completely rid a place of weeds they will have to work hard to remove them before they produce seed because if they do then the next season there will surely be another crop of weeds. It takes more energy than the mere control of weeds that happens in an average farm where crops are grown.

Habits are like plants in more respects than one. For one thing they grow and develop in us as good crops and weeds do in our fields. The desired habits take time to grow and produce the desired results. It seems they take forever to produce fruits and those that embark on some worthwhile habits end up stopping pursuing them because it takes too long to enjoy the fruits of the habits. On the other hand, bad habits exhibit the characteristics of weeds. They are fast growing with the sole aim of destroying the good that is in us.

Bad habits by growing quickly tend to overshadow the good ones that we have. We end up using the precious energy that we have to attend to the bad habits at the expense of the good ones. The bad habits are naturally many in number such that we end up, though using very little energy on each habit and probably thinking that it does not have an effect, in reality wasting energy on these habits and leaving hardly any energy for the more beneficial pursuits.

The most dangerous of the habits are those that are not visible but drain energy all the same. There are perpetual complainers and grumblers who make criticizing a hobby to the extent that they do not realise that every time they look at a situation and concentrate on the negative side of it they end up tired and unable to do any thing else. Most of the depressions that many of us go through could be reduced if only we spent our energy concentrating on things that we can change and working to change them instead of worrying about what we can not change. This however takes a lot of courage to tackle and just like in the deep going weeds a lot of digging is needed, making sure that the habit is removed from the roots.

Just briefly revisiting the issue of resolutions that we touched on earlier on, a closer look will tell many of us that there is little that is happening in the beneficial habits that we wanted to adopt this year. The main reason why some of these worthy causes are going to adorn the shelves for the whole year and only be revisited at the end of the year and be dusted, looked at and shelved again is the issue of time. There is very little time left to carry out the intended goals. On the other hand it is interesting to note that those habits that we vowed will never be part of our lives again this year have been revisited at least ten times in these two weeks. Time is not available to begin new habits but is available to reinforce the ones that we want to get rid of.

If we are going to win the war against bad habits we have to persevere, there is no other way. Weeds will grow faster than crops by nature. First of all grow enough crops to make the piece of land worth weeding. A plot left to itself will grow weeds and no one will bother himself about clearing it but a plot of land with some cotton or maize will surely be weeded. As you look at your life what is it that is there that is worth fighting to preserve? Are there any good habits that you will see reason enough to weed out the bad ones?

Developing Strong Relationships

Developing Strong Relationships                                                                      261008

Real life is all about relationships. Those who excel in what they do seem to know how to work with other people well. In fact, there is no success unless someone does something that benefits people. And those who enjoy their success usually have a number of close people to share it with. It is, therefore very important for us to learn the art of relationship building.

One thing that we have to learn, and fast, if we want strong relationships, is the art of communication. This has been emphasized so many times by different people that if we could learn only this aspect of relationship building we would be miles ahead in no time. The problem is that true communication is not easy. It involves listening attentively when someone is speaking and speaking sensitively when or turn to speak comes. Most people can not allow someone to speak for twenty seconds without interruption. I mean when someone really needs you to be listening.

There are two kinds of conversation. One is when you are enquiring about something or discussing about a topic that needs both parties to say something short and someone else responds. The second is when a friend is in trouble and emotionally he/she is down and wants a shoulder to lean on or cry on. At such times you will realise that the person is not looking for advice per se but a listening ear. No matter how much advice someone gives at this time it will be forgotten because usually someone comes to you knowing exactly what to do. In these times the best you can do for your friend is to close your mouth and open your ears and give your loved one all the attention in the world. He/she will be more grateful for this than for any advice you can give. Only at the end when the emotions are settled can you start to speak and be sure you are heard.

God gave us two ears and one mouth because it is more important to listen than to speak in most cases. Someone may speak to you for the whole day and you can forget him or what he says but it is difficult to forget someone who gives you a listening ear when you really need it. This is the reason why the mouth has a ‘lid’ while the ears remain open all the time. It shows that there are times when you have to shut up. In fact, the Bible in Ecclesiastes chapter 3 says that “there is a time for everything”. One sentence says that “there is a time to be silent and a time to speak,” which to me may mean that it helps to be silent first then speak later. Note that it never says ‘there is a time to listen and a time not to listen.’ The same Bible says that if a fool remains silent he will be considered wise. A fool is recognised as one when his/her mouth gets opened, otherwise there is no different between a fool and a wise man if both are silent. Take it to mean there is more wisdom in being a good listener than being a loud talker.

When you decide to speak, be a sensitive speaker. Someone said that gossip does not have to be false to be harmful; there are a lot of things that just should not be said. As a friend or relative choose what you say wisely. There are a number of things that should not be said. In fact if it is going to cut your loved one to pieces then you better keep it to yourself. Your loved one however does not mind hearing a compliment for a job well done, neither do they mind if you tell them when you are feeling low. They appreciate it just to know that they can comfort you. At the same time realise that your friend can not read your mind therefore it is your responsibility to tell him/her exactly how you feel. If you are happy share it enthusiastically. They do not mind if you tell many people that you really love them. To them it means it is true now that you are sharing it with the others.

 When a friend says that they have a problem, listen attentively and do not downplay the reality of the problem or the pain they are going through. You may feel that it is not warranted to feel the way they feel but to them it is real and significant because it is their experience not yours. For this reason be a compassionate friend all the time who listens without being judgemental about other people’s feelings.

Apart from good communication, relationships are made stronger by forgiveness. All of us make mistakes at one time or the other. This does not mean that we are hopelessly unredeemable. It helps to separate the person from their mistake and realise that a long term loving relationship is possible even though someone made a mistake one time. To refuse to forgive is to kill the relationship and all the pleasure it was capable of bringing to you with time. Learn to forgive when your loved ones make mistakes and watch your relationships grow. It is with compassion that we should view our friends – as vulnerable and imperfect people like ourselves and capable of making mistakes.

One binding force for any relationship is honesty. You can not expect your loved ones to trust you if you are constantly cheating and hiding the truth from them. Once in a while we fall from truth but our aim should always be honesty and trust.

A level of affection is needed in a relationship. If you tell young people that physical affection is going to make your relationships grow, you are most likely going to be misquoted as having said that a friendship will not grow unless you hug every time you meet. This is most likely going to be abused by some who have ulterior motives to the destruction of the relationships they are trying to develop. The fact remains the same, parents do well to hug and kiss their children goodbye or good night and their relationship to these young ones are stronger for it. Every relationship will grow if the parties involved shake hands or show physical affection in a comfortable and agreeable way for all involved. Care must however be taken to avoid heartaches and the pain that may result from abuse of this otherwise useful privilege.

Drugs are not good for you.

Drugs are not good for you.                                                                 310509

            Almost everyone knows the problems associated with the abuse of drugs. What is surprising, all the same, is the fact that everyday there are people who are introduced to the dangerous world of drugs where they eventually come out, if at all, with many self-inflicted wounds. Why do people go on to use drugs if they are as dangerous as we all know them to be?

            The major problem when it comes to drugs in not in that they are harmful to the user’s health. There are many harmful things that we use on a daily basis that we look at in retrospect and wonder how we survived them. If drugs could be dropped like we do many other harmful practices then there was not going to be a big problem. Most of the drugs that people use or abuse are so addictive that those who try to stop get serious withdrawal symptoms. Some of these things are difficult to understand for those who have not been involved, that is the reason why some are enticed into trying them in the first place. Some of these substances are so addictive that the user becomes a prisoner literally.

            If you look at the advertisements for all alcoholic beverages and cigarettes there is always a warning to the effect that there is danger associated with taking the product. All the same there are those who still purchase these products and use them despite these warnings. This is how we know the power of these drugs to hold captive its victims without any intentions of letting go at some point. The other drugs which are illegal are even harder, and their addiction is even more difficult to break. My question, which is still begging for answers is, “why do people still use these substances?”

            The young people are usually introduced to these substances by peers who do not tell them about the side effects. You can see a young man seemingly enjoying a cigarette simply because the peers tell him it is cool to smoke. For some time he endures the chest pains that result from the foreign smoke as the body tries to repel it. After some time it ceases to be an issue of whether the young man wants a cigarette or not but he “must” have it because the body is so used to operating with this poison that it seems it will die without it. The young man does not realise the beginning of serious addiction and goes on to buy more and more packets of cigarettes. Soon this young man becomes an old man who does not know what to do because he wants to stop so badly but he just can’t. Eventually he develops tuberculosis and/or many other conditions which usually cut his life short. The question that can then be asked is whether the image of being a hero in the eyes of the peers worth all the pain that such an individual goes through?

            Let me be quick to mention that it is not only the men who experience this smoking problem. Women too find themselves with the same problems. Scientists have proven that cigarettes do more damage to a woman than they do to a man. This is something for the ladies who want to begin smoking. Remember that once you begin smoking and do not stop with the first cigarette, smoking will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay and eventually cost you more than you want to pay. That’s food for thought.

            Alcohol is another addictive substance that people use and abuse. There are many people who have suffered because of using this substance but still others continue to be introduced to its destructive clutches. It usually begins with a friend offering you a drink. At the end it is someone neglecting the family and spending all the money in the bar. Many who have given themselves over to this master have found it to be a hard taskmaster indeed. After using all the money on it and getting so drunk your friends have to take you home, you wake up craving for more. Others have managed to flee from its grasp thanks to associations like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). It is not an easy road, though, since it begins by admitting that you are an alcoholic, something that most alcoholics will never do. All the same, the truth is that no matter how many people believe it; alcohol causes more problems than solutions and should be avoided by all at all costs.

            A girl goes to a party where she is introduced to a group of boys who in turn introduce her to alcohol. They convince her it will make her feel great. She endures it but manages to finish a glass of some diluted “hot stuff”. She feels high but soon the alcohol becomes too much for her. She asks to go to the toilet and that is all she remembers. When she eventually comes to, one of her friends tells her she was picked in the toilet, fast asleep. That is not all, she has actually been raped. No one knows who exactly did it because she was discovered when everyone else had left. It is not clear how many people have slept with her but it is clearly more than one. The girl is in a dilemma; could she be pregnant, or HIV positive? All these are possibilities but she has to wait some time to find out. The fact remains that she may have missed being both pregnant and having the virus, but she will forever be a rape victim, and that is not something to wish upon even the worst of your enemies. Was the glass of alcohol really worth it? Only she can answer such a question.

            If you have a story that you think may help others avoid the traps of drugs and addictive substances, please share it with us. You do not have to give your name. Who knows, your life story can be someone else’s salvation. You do not want others to go through the pain you went through or are going through. Get in touch with me on rtharis@yahoo.com

Do not let setbacks hinder your progress

Do not let setbacks hinder your progress                                                 300510

                As long as you are going forward there is going to be some opposition to your movement. The obstacles that you find on your way are there to help you grow in to the person that you are supposed to be. There are some times when certain individuals want to destroy you and they put more than obstacles on your way. If this happens, it still remains your responsibility to get over these barriers and go forward.

                When a mulberry tree is cut, it makes sure that the next time it shoots it produces more shoots than the one that was cut. This is a mechanism to make sure that if the one that cut has to do it again there are great chances of survival. Of course these branches produce more than the original one because of their number. The one who might have cut the branch or the stem to fix the tree will find the tree producing more than it would have done without the initial cutting.

                There are many situations in life when the enemy wants to fix you and does things in order to destroy you. If you learn from the mulberry tree, it is not time to give up but to stand up and be more productive. This is possible if your attitude is that of a champion who chooses to use the opposition to progress.

                A champion knows that the competition in the arena is stiff so he/she creates similar conditions by choosing a course that is harder than normal. The obstacles that he/she puts in the way help the athlete to do more than is required at any given time. When the competition day arrives, the champion can excel because he/she will have faced harder conditions before. If you look at the obstacles as a friend who strengthens you, you will emerge stronger than most people do.

                You can use the obstacles that are placed on your way as the means to rise to the top. An eagle can go higher than other birds, not because it can flip its wings for longer, but because it uses the storms that rise to its advantage. When an eagle sees a storm coming, it does not run and hide like the chickens do. It spreads its giant wings and lets the storm carry it to heights other birds only dream of. The storm is a threat to other ignorant birds but to the eagle it is the means to reach greater heights.

                For an aeroplane or a bird to soar, there has to be movement. A stationary plane will not rise. It has to reach a certain speed before it can rise. The same is true for a kite. It is either the owner of the kite runs to create this speed or the wind must blow and make the stationary kite rise. Other birds use a lot of energy to gain speed so that they can rise. The eagle, on the other hand, makes use of the storm, which will be moving at a high speed already, to rise. All it needs to do is to position itself in the storm so that the wind lifts it up. It is because it takes less energy, since it does not flip its wings, that an eagle can go so high. The storm is not a problem on its own. It is how you view it that makes a difference. To the eagle it is a good reason to touch the clouds while to the chicken it is a threat that can kill its young.

                If the obstacles that are thrown on your way are to become stepping stones, you have to choose to look at them with a different eye. Your attitude has to change completely. If you have chicken mentality, you will not be able to survive the storms that come your way. The stone that makes others stumble is the stepping stone that keeps others going. It all depends on the way you look at the stone. If you are crossing a marshy patch you know that you need stones to make your journey comfortable; the same stones that others stumble upon. The stone is not the problem; it is how you view it that makes a difference.

                When you find that the road you are following has some individuals who are bent on retarding your progress, do not despair. There is hope of getting to the end as long as you are determined enough. You can make it even if all others do not want you to make it. What makes this possible is that the same things that they throw on your way maybe the ones that help you to get to the end. It is only you who will make this possible by the attitude you choose to adopt.

Crime does not pay

 

 Crime does not pay                                                                                   060610

            The other day I heard about a twenty-five year old man who was sentenced to twenty years in prison, (two ten year terms that run concurrently, meaning he will be in jail for ten years effectively) for stealing copper wires that belong to ZESA. What was sad about this story was that the young man was married with three young children, the youngest being only two months old. This child will spend the first ten years of her life without knowing how it feels to sit on daddy’s lap or to take a walk with him. What a pity.

            There are many who were arguing that the magistrate should have been more lenient with this young man for the sake of the child. Others were in contention that it should not be allowed because otherwise everyone with a new born baby may be encouraged to commit crimes knowing the judge will feel for him/her. The morale of this story is that whether you are caught or not; crime does not pay.

            I mentioned in an article not long ago that there are opportunities that are disastrous. When you see them you are excited that you are going to progress but the end is disaster. Crime is one such opportunity. The problem with crime is that there is always a great chance of success. Many people are not caught the first time. This success usually gives them encouragement to do more. They try again and succeed. Sooner than later they get caught and they find themselves with more than they want to handle. In the end the cost is more than one is prepared to pay.

            The Bible says that people will understand if a poor man steals to fill his stomach, but if he is caught he must pay back in full, even if it means with his own life. The young man I mentioned earlier said that he was stealing so that he could raise money for school fees for his eldest child. Everyone understood him, but now that he was caught he had to pay back for the damage he had done. Unfortunately for him the payment was more than he had bargained for. I hear he shed tears when the sentence was passed. But that was too late.

            There are many things that can be done to raise money to look after yourself or your family. All these methods are not as pleasant and easy as crime looks, but they are legal and safe. There is one thing that our corrupt society has done that makes it difficult to tell people that there is more to gain from legal means of getting money. Everyone now believes in instant success. A person goes down south across the Limpopo and the next month he brings a BMW. Young people who see that think cars must be cheap in South Africa. Cars cost the same everywhere in the world, and those who do not buy on hire purchase acquire them in illegal ways if they can afford them in a month or two. The fact that they succeeded this time makes them and others go back with the hope of another success. Sooner than later you hear that they were shot dead trying to hijack a car. The same end to all crime stories.

            You may not die literally but when you are caught on the wrong side of the law you will die somehow. What world will you come back to after spending ten years in prison? Imagine someone who went to prison in the year 2000 and coming out tomorrow. Will he/she manage in the world of today? What about the ten years of his/her life just gone to waste? They  forwill have to start all over again as a different individual. Is it worth it?

            When faced with an opportunity to commit crime, consider the fact that you may be caught. Count the cost. Someone was saying that when you commit crime do something that you will not regret when caught. It sounds like great advice but there are some who were shot when they were caught stealing billions. Sure they would have liked to spend a few years in jail provided the loot was not discovered and come back to enjoy it but they are dead now. Was it worth it? The gentleman we talked about had stolen copper wire worth about $450.00. Is that worth spending ten years in prison for? I guess he may be the only one who can answer that.

            For every criminal activity you want to engage in to raise money there is always a parallel one that is legal. You have to choose to sweat first and enjoy later or enjoy now and sweat later. The former is always better than the later. Do not be involved in crime because it has a way of keeping you longer than you want to stay; taking you farther than you want to go and eventually costing you more than you want to pay.

Only you can take yourself where you want to go

Only you can take yourself where you want to go                                          230510

One of the complaints that people make in life is that they were never given everything that they need to get to the place that they want to go. The problem with this outcry is that the only person who knows about where you want to go is you and even if everyone else wanted to help they may have given you tools to go where they wanted you to go and not necessarily where you wanted to.  What this means is that the only person who can take you to the place where you want to go is you. There are three reasons why you must do your best to take yourself there instead of expecting someone else to do it for you.

The first reason is that you are the only one who knows where you want to go. If someone had the prerogative to take you somewhere in life, then you could take them to task if they fail to do so. Now that your life belongs to you, and that you are responsible for the direction you have to take, it is you who must take yourself there. It is not right to ask someone who does not know the destination to lead the way. I believe you have seen the place where you want to be in your mind’s eye. Since you have seen it, you have a better idea as to what you want. It is better, for that reason, for you to be the one leading the way. At least you know when you have arrived.

There are many people who wish you well and they often give you advice as to where they think you must be. Sometimes that advice looks so sensible you want to abandon everything and follow it. In as much as all they have to say is good, it is you who should be chatting the way to your great destination. Do not leave it to anyone else.

The second reason why you must be moving in the direction you want to go is that you would not have the desire to go there if there was no potential in you to get there. God puts in you a desire to accomplish only the things that you are capable of achieving. To all the others, the things that you want to achieve may be looking too big or too small, but to you it is your destiny. Most of us shudder when we are faced with the sea. The day old turtles; fresh from their egg shells, have a way of being attracted by this big monstrous body of water. Somehow they are wired in such away that they will seek out the sea despite the obvious dangers. If they do not get a chance to go out to seas they feel shortchanged. There are many dangerous animals out at sea that would feast on the defenseless day old turtle, but it goes out there despite them. It has greater chances of survival out at sea than it has on land because it is a sea animal. What gives it the desire to go out to sea is that it has the potential to survive in the wild sea. If turtles had to listen to some grown up friends like some of us have to, they would have every reason to stay on the beach, a place where there is more danger than out at sea. Or they would whine all day about the fact that no one gave them an armored boat to fight off enemies as they took the perilous journey out to sea.

You have the potential to go where you want to go and it does not matter that you do not have the resources that you need to get there. The greatest resource you have is your brain and it is enough to take you where you want to get.

The third reason is that you are the only one who has a genuine interest in your own affairs. Many people love you and they are eager to help you where necessary, but there are many who like you only for the things that they can get from you. You are the only person who has a genuine interest in your own success. At least you can check your motives. Others will try to take you where they want to go. You do not have a choice but to rely primarily on yourself as far as your general direction of travel is concerned. If others will support you it is very well.

Wherever you want to go, you can go provided you do not expect someone to take you there. Do not doubt your ability to get there because the desire to get there is testimony of your potential to get there. Since you know where you want to go, make it your duty to take the first step in that direction.